OK, I was terrible last week. I’ll update standings later. Commentary on Week 2:
* I was right, the Texans had no answer for Steve Smith. But they had answers for everything else, which amazed me.
* Filed under “places I’m happy I wasn’t:” in any Bengals defensive meeting this week. How do you allow the Browns to score 51 points?
* The Pats cheating thing just will not go away. Look, no excuses: the Pats broke the rules, they should be punished. I have no problem with that. But can we please move on? Seriously, I have yet to hear anything like an explanation of why this rule is even on the books. Yes, they were videotaping, but they were videotaping things which were happening in plain sight. It’s legal to have coaches watch that with binoculars and a type into a laptop. It’s not like they were breaking into fortified compounds and stealing nuclear secrets, sheesh.
* Note to all fantasy football players: if you have guys playing QB or WR going vs. the Saints, start ‘em.
* No, Donovan, they aren’t all over you because you’re black. They’re all over you for the same reason they’re all over Rex Grossman: you’re playing like crap right now. That is all.
Cardinals @ Baltimore(-7.5)
Seems like too many; Baltimore’s offense isn’t exactly lighting up the world.
Bills @ New England(-16.5)
They beat both their first two opponents by more than that, and those teams are both better than the Bills. They’ll cover this if they want to.
Lions @ Philadelphia(-6.5)
Obviously the guys setting the line didn’t watch the same to games involving the Eagles that I did. McNabb can neither move nor throw, and nobody knows where the end zone is. Lions.
Colts @ Houston(+6)
I’m starting to believe, I want to believe, but man, it’s the Colts. I’d be happy to be wrong the third week in a row on the Texans, but I’m taking Indy here.
Dolphins @ New Jersey Meadowlands(-3)
Coin flip, the Jest get three points for being at home. Sure, Jets, why not?
Vikings @ Kansas City(-2.5)
Again, hunh? The Vikings I’ve seen have looked pretty good on D and the Chefs have zero offense. The only way the Chefs win by 3 is if the score is 3-0. Vikings.
Chargers @ Green Bay(+5)
Five? Seems like a lot, given how much the Chargers offense has struggled. I’m actually going to take the Packers on the theory that Norv is just cursed. Or sucks. Or both.
Niners @ Pittsburgh(-9)
The Stillers are firing on all cylinders right now, it seems, and the Niners are just staggering through. Stillers win here, but do they cover nine? That seems like a lot. Well, I’ll give it anyway.
Rams @ Tampa(-3.5)
Hard to imagine the Rams 0-3 and the Bucs 2-1, isn’t it? I’m no sure what to do with this one. The Bucs appear to actually have an offense now, which is bad for St. Louis. Can the Bucs keep it up? I don’t know. Because Al is going with Tampa, I’m taking the points.
Bengals @ Seattle(-3)
The best part here is that the over/under is a nice round fiddy (50). I’m taking the over. Can I just take the over and not pick the winner? Can we do that? Grrr. Well, if not, uhh… the Bengals have the better offense, but the Seabags have the better D (not saying much). Seattle, I guess. I’d much rather take the over.
Browns @ Oakland(-3)
Just for a change of pace, I’m going to actually pick the Raiders.
Jaguars @ Denver(-3)
The most obvious spread in the world–Denver by a field goal. Probably as the clock expires, too. This will be a push, so why pick it? Oh, fine, I’ll take Jax, but they lose on last-second field goal by only 1 or 2.
Panthers @ Atlanta(+4)
Only 4? Really? Sure, I’ll give 4. The Falcons are really, really bad.
Giants @ Washington(-3.5)
The Giants haven’t shown me anything. The Redskins may actually have some life this year, so I’m going with them.
Cowboys @ Chicago(-3)
Yes, Chicago has a great defense and all, but Dallas has enough defense (read: any) to stop the Bears and have enough offense to score a few. I like Dallas to win this outright.
Titans @ New Orleans(-4.5)
Weird. There’s something seriously wrong with the Saints, besides the obviously horrible secondary. Something wrong on offense. I have to go with Ditka’s analysis on this one: stop trying to spread the ball around and pound the rock with Deuce first, which will open up all the other stuff. Will they figure this out? Maybe, and maybe they’ll eek out a win. But they won’t cover ths.