The “Business Drone”

I travel for work a fair amount—not a huge amount but I generally log around 30K miles/year—and it’s interesting to peoplewatch in airports and on airplanes. I’m not an anthropologist, but I’ve come to identify a particular species of traveler, which I now identify as the “business drone.”

The business drone can usually be identified first by dress. He (and they’re almost always men, for reasons I haven’t yet figured out) is generally attired in slacks, dress shirt and tie, and usually not especially comfortable shoes (which may cause some of the characteristic behaviors). A cell phone is a required accessory, with a Blackberry increasingly part of the ensemble. Laptops are common but not universal. Business drones tend to be middle-aged but there are occasionally younger examples of the species. My suspicion is that the bulk of the species are middle management.

Typical behaviors of the business drone? First, many business drones fly first class, probably mostly on mile-based upgrades. Those that do not clearly expect the flight attendants to treat them as if they were in first class regardless of seating. Drones have certain characteristic boarding behaviors, such as generally trying to board the plane before their row is called. Carryon luggage also generates certain patterns. If the carryon is one of those rolling bags carefully engineered to be exactly the maximum allowable size (which seems reasonable), which can stow front-to-back in an overhead bin on many planes (thus taking up less usable space), no effort is made to orient them front-to-back. A common variant is the garment bag, often of questionable permissibility in terms of size, which, even if other options exist, must be stored horizontally on the bottom of the bin, taking up maximum possible space.

Once baggage has been stowed and a seat taken, the drone will then generally either take out his laptop or, more commonly, initiate a cell phone conversation. Use of this device is somehow privileged and continues after the request is made over the loudspeaker for such usage to stop. A second request made directly by a crewmember, however, is generally effective. Cell phone conversations must be held at a volume sufficiently high that anyone within a few rows is forced to endure the conversation. Common conversation topics include office politics (with obvious sucking up not unusual), attempts to re-jigger travel schedules, and postmortems on meetings. Any levity in such conversations is so obviously forced that surely the drone suffers physical pain. Communications with family are surprisingly rare.

Once the flight is underway, if the drone is lugging a laptop and chooses to use it, activities are typically limited to solitaire, review of PowerPoint presentations, and less frequently, browsing of spreadsheets. Activities which involve significant use of the keyboard/brain complex (e.g., writing, programming) are exceptionally rare; the laptop appears to be more of a status symbol than a functional object. Desktop backgrounds are generally either one of the standard Windows backgrounds or something corporate. Things like photos of family or even vacations are unusual. A recent development is the use of the laptop as a DVD player, but I have not yet noticed trends in film selection.

Non-laptop activity is generally reading. Review of business documents is common but not universal; recreational reading is just as common. Newspapers are the top choice, with the Wall Street Journal leading the way. General news magazines (e.g., Time) are not uncommon. Novels do also appear, with strong preferences for the male-oriented segment of the current bestsellers’ list; Tom Clancy-type novels are particularly favored.

Being a headphone geek, I do notice the cans worn by drones, if any. And if any head-fi types wonder who’s buying all that overpriced but well-marketed Bose product, it’s business drones. Triports and QC2’s are popular choices of this crowd.

At the end of the flight, shutting down of electronics is often done with similar reluctance. When deplaning, willingness to yield to other travelers with tight connections or other extenuating circumstance (mild disability, old age, children) is limited, generally near or at zero.

OK, can you tell I’m traveling today?