Sunday, 1:00
Raiders @ Baltimore(-12)
If it’s possible to look much worse than Oakland did last week, I’m not sure how. The only reason it was watchable at all is that I hate the Raiders and so got some kind of perverse pleasure out of watching them suck. Oh, and the Ravens looked great last week. Overall, it’s pretty scary when 12 doesn’t even seem like that much in week 2. I wonder if the Ravens’ defense alone can cover the spread. Ouch.
Saints @ Green Bay(+2)
I think the Packers are going to be a raging disaster all season. Favre gets so much slack from all the fawning media, and I can’t figure out why. Yeah, sure, he was great once, but he’s horrible now. Packers should have unloaded him.
Texans @ Indy(-13.5)
I really wonder about the Colts’ ability to run the ball. I think the lack of ground game will hurt them this year at some point. The Texans, however, are not that point. I’ve been trying very hard to drink the Mario Williams Kool-Aid but I just can’t seem to quite swallow it down. sigh. On the other hand, it’s not like I expect anyone else will beat the Colts in Indy, at least not until the (choke!) playoffs. Oh, yeah, give the points.
Bills @ Miami(-6.5)
I was completely underwhelmed with the Dolphins last week, and the Bills might have some life. Probably not really, but they might at least stay in a few games this year. I’ll take the points.
Panthers @ Minnesota(+1.5)
Even if Steve Smith plays, he’s not going to be 100%. Look for the Vikings to run 40 times, mostly on the left side behind Hutchinson. I can’t believe I’m actually picking the Vikings. <ducks lightning bolt>
Bucs @ Atlanta(-5.5)
Dang, is there space on the Falcons bandwagon? Yes? One more? Thanks, guys, I’ll take that last seat.
Giants @ Philly(-3)
Yes, the Eagles looked a lot better with McNabb healthy and with Stallworth and all that. People seem to forget that they played the NFL equivalent of a 1AA team last week. Sure, the G-Men didn’t exactly look like worldbeaters against the Colts, but that was the Colts, who are a heck of a lot better than Houston (see above). I will happily take the points.
Lions @ Chicago(-8.5)
Did you hear the nonsense from the Lions’ WR guaranteeing a victory? WTF? I expect the Bears to simply pummel Detroit here. I’d give 10, 12, easy.
Browns @ Cinci(-10)
The Bengals are good. The Browns… aren’t. Seems straightforward, although ten is kind of a lot, I think the Bengals should be able to do it.
Sunday, ~4:10
Rams @ San Francisco(+3)
I’m somewhat surprised that the spread isn’t more, but then again, the Rams didn’t get in the end zone at all last week. I guess I’ll take St. Louis.
Cardinals @ Seattle(-7)
Look, if you need a last-second field goal to beat the Lions and don’t break double digits, there’s a problem. I’m taking the points.
Chiefs @ Denver(-10.5)
Yes, Trent Green is out. But that’s a boatload of points to be giving for a team lead by Jake the Mistake. If I were Plummer’s insurance agent, I’d double his rates—I mean really, how long until some rabid Broncos fan tries to take him out to get Cutler the job? I’ll take the points.
Patriots @ New Jersey Jets(+6)
Yes, they get to be the “Jets” this week because they won last week. I’m picking them to go back to being the Jest next week, though.
Titans @ San Diego(-11.5)
Methinks the Chargers might be miffed at missing the playoffs last year. I thought they did a good job of not asking Rivers to do too much, and I don’t see the Titans as being radically better than the Raiders, so I think the Bolts can cover this.
Sunday NBC
Redskins @ Dallas(-6)
Wheee, the finger-pointing has already started, and people are already calling for Bledsoe’s head. What’s the over/under on T.O. throwing Bledsoe under the bus? And the Skins looked kind of discombobulated last week, too. So much for the NFC East being all that. I hear Portis is supposed to be out, though, so I believe I have to give the points.
MNF
Steelers @ Jax(+1.5)
Good matchup. I wish I knew if Big Ben or Batch were starting. Yes, Batch looked good last week, but this is Charlie Batch we’re talking about here. If I knew Big Ben were starting, I’d take the Stillers for sure. Grr, OK, I’ll take ‘em anyway.
Last week’s record: 7-9. Like anyone picked the Lions, though, sheesh, you can’t blame me for that.