NFL Week 16

Heh, heh. Have I mentioned how much I love seeing the Cowboys implode? Get on the tube and whine some more, T.O.

Sunday 1:00
Bungles @ Cleveland(-3)
The battle for Ohio suckage—this should be a real ratings winner, especially in the same time slot as the Steelers and Titans. Seriously, even people in Ohio won’t watch this. Oh, yeah, a pick. Uhh, Bengals, just because?

Saints @ Detroit(+7)
Lions lose, but beat the spread. 0-16 still in sight.

Dolphins @ Kansas City(+3.5)
Miami really needs this game. They’ll win by more than a field goal.

Cardinals @ New England(-9)
Seems like a lot of points, but with Boldin probably out, maybe. I mean, it’s not like the Cardinals have anything to play for at this point. OK, I’ve talked myself into it… Pats.

Niners @ St. Louis(+5)
Rams are a train wreck, I’m going with SF all the way.

Steelers @ Tennessee(+1)
A quick check of the injury report says that Willie Parker is playing, therefore I’m picking the Steelers.

Chargers @ Tampa Bay(-3.5)
The Bolts have looked better of late, but this is travel to the east coast for a 1:00, and the Bucs need this. I’d be happier with a 3-pointer because I think it may be close, but I have to take the Bucs.

Sunday ~4:10
Bills @ Denver(-7)
Buffalo is just rolling over and playing dead these days. Give the points.

Texans @ Oakland(+7.5)
Wow, I’m actually picking the Texans, and feeling optimistic about it.

Jets @ Seattle(+3.5)
Gang Green really needs this game, and fortunately for them, the Seabags suck.

Falcons @ Minnesota(-3)
I hate this game, because I hate picking the Vikings, but they’ve been great at home and the Falcons have been only so-so as a road team. Ugh, picking Tarvaris leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I have to do it.

Eagles @ Washington(+5)
Philly has been on fire lately, and that’s enough for me.

SNF
Panthers @ New Jersey Giants(-3)
I don’t like the way the G-Men have been playing, and Carolina has it going on. I think they’ll make this a real contest, so I’ll take the points.

MNF
Packers @ Chicago(-4)
Ahh, Green Bay. What on earth happened to you? I thought they might have a respectable season this year, but when you drop one at home to Houston, you have a problem. I’ll take the Bears.