OK, so we both blew the Raiders-Chargers game. Geez, the Raiders look awful. Who could lose to them?
On with the rest of the picks…
Sunday 1:00
Jaguars @ Chicago(-7)
Jax looked unbelievably bad against the Texans—I think they’re just mailing it in at this point. Bears.
Vikings @ Detroit(+10.5)
And, speaking of mailing in the season, there’s the Lions. I don’t see why people think this is the game the Lions will finally win. Not only will they lose, they’ll lose big… again.
Texans @ Green Bay(-6)
The Texans have a little momentum now, but let’s not get carried away—this is a road game in the cold. Packers have no trouble covering this.
Bungles @ Indy(-13.5)
Man, favorite city this week. This one gives me slight pause, though, as that’s a bucket of points. But then, Cinci’s season has kind of kicked the bucket… no, no, that’s too many points, I have to take them.
Falcons @ New Orleans(-3)
Have these people seen the Saints so-called defense? Obviously the Vegas guys know something I don’t, as the wrong team is favored here. Hell yeah I’m taking these points.
Eagles @ New Jersey Giants(-7)
That was a fantastic display last week by the Iggles, but even with all the Plax nonsense, this is not the Cardinals defense and this is not in Philly. I say the Giants cover.
Browns @ Tennessee(-14)
Who, exactly, is playing QB for the Browns now? On the road? OK, so I don’t think the winner of this game is in doubt. But will they cover the gaudy number? Well, seeing as how the Browns can’t tackle worth a crap, yes, I think the Titans will cover the big number.
Sunday ~4:10
Dolphins vs. Bills @ Toronto, pick
Someone please explain to me why the Bills gave up a nice, cold-weather home game against their most hated enemy to play indoors where the cold will be nullified? This is bizarre, I’m taking Miami.
Chefs @ Denver(-9)
I have exactly no freaking idea what to do with Denver. When their offense clicks and their defense even kind of shows up—and kind of showing up is about as good as it gets for this defense—they look great. And other games they don’t even seem to want to bother. Look, I know it’s the Chiefs on the road, but that’s just too many points for me with the wildly inconsistent Broncos.
Jets @ San Francisco(+4)
I’m glad it’s a small number because the Niners have looked a lot better lately. Still, if the Jets want to prove they’re really playoff worthy, they have to win a game like this. I’ll go with Gang Green here.
Patriots @ Seattle(+6.5)
The Seabags are a train wreck this season, I’m giving the points.
Rams @ Arizona(-14)
Ahh, yes, the Cardinals back home against a horrible team. What a nice way to rebound and erase the memory of last week’s blowout, with a blowout of their own. Cards, and Haslett gets the boot at the end of the year.
Cowboys @ Pittsburgh(-3)
Warning, Will Robinson, warning! The “home team -3” spread means not even Vegas has any idea what’s going on in this intriguing game. I, however, have simple heuristic for picking Steelers games this year. When Willie Parker plays, they cover. Clayton is reporting that he’ll play in the cold and possibly light snow, which doesn’t exactly favor Dallas. I’m taking the Stillers here.
SNF
Redskins @ Baltimore(-5.5)
I think Washington is done. I was expecting this to be Ravens by three, however, so the number again gives me slight pause. No, forget it, Baltimore by six or seven here.
MNF
Tampa Bay @ Carolina(-3)
Hmm, again, Vegas has no idea, either. That’s good, because I have no clue here. I guess the matchup has to favor Carolina, as the vaunted Tampa 2 isn’t that great against the run, and the Panthers figure to run the ball like 40 times. I don’t know, I’m just making shit up here to justify picking somebody… yeah, sure, I’ll go with that. Panthers, but I really have no idea.