Man, I can’t believe I almost forgot to do these…
Last week I went a wretched 6–8. OK, maybe not wretched, but not good when I have a big lead to try to close. Al finally had a human week, going 7–7, but of course that means I still lost ground. Ugh. I’m 39–37 and Al is a nutty 51–25.
One thing I’ll point out about this week is how many of these spreads are “home team -3”. That’s the Vegas way of saying “we have no idea, either.” Interesting week!
Sunday 1:00
Texans @ Cincinnati(-5.5)
Houston can’t stop the run, and Cedric Benson is the leading rusher in the NFL—seriously, how weird is that? Bengals cover this, win by at least a TD.
Lions @ Green Bay(-14)
Stafford is still out, right? I know the Lions actually put up a fight against the Steelers last week, but not two weeks in a row. Packers.
Rams @ Jacksonville(-9.5)
Has St. Louis covered the spread at all this year? Only once? Yeah, I’ll take Jax to bounce back and blow out a very bad team. Give the ball to MJD!!
Ravens @ Vikings(-3)
Man, that’ll be a lot of friggin’ purple on the field. Anyway, I constantly have this feeling like the Vikings are doing it with smoke and mirrors. Nonetheless, they are undefeated and at home, so I will give the points.
Giants @ New Orleans(-3)
This should be quite a game! Both teams unbeaten, AND unbeaten against the spread. Want more unhelpful stats? The G-Men are 17-4 against the spread vs. a team with a winning record; the Saints are 9-1-1 against the spread in their last 11 games, 6-1-1 ATS in last 8 vs. NFC. So, uhh, they’re both hot. Well, the Giants are a little more banged up, with Manning and Bradshaw a little hobbled and Manningham probably out. So, based on health and home field, I’ll take the Saints. Oh, and because they still owe the Giants for that bonus home game in the Katrina year.
Browns @ Pittsburgh(-14)
When you go 2 for 17 passing against Buffalo you ache. I don’t like the Steelers in terms of running up the score, though, but they’ll try to in what was once a rivalry game and is still at least a divisional game, so I’ll go with Pittsburgh here.
Panthers @ Tampa Bay(+3)
I’m not sure after last week that the Panthers should be favored against anybody… then again, the Bucs are millions under the cap and have neither offense or defense. Are they paying fans to come to this game? Carolina.
Chefs @ Washington(-6)
The Redskins are not six points better than anybody, even Kansas City. Take the points!
Sunday ~4:10
Eagles @ Oakland(+14)
I was not sure about Philly’s ability to really blow out bad teams last week and wouldn’t give the 15.5. I think Oakland is probably even worse than Tampa, if that’s possible, so I guess I should give the points this time. Iggles.
Cardinals @ Seattle(-3)
I’m as clueless as Vegas here. Which Kurt Warner will show up, the guy in the first half last week or his evil twin who played the second half? Which Seattle team will show up, the one that’s blown out a couple opponents or the one that’s been blown out three times? Cards are 2-2 against the spread, Seabags are 2-3. Yeah, OK, coin says… Arizona. Sure, why the hell not?
Titans @ New England(-9.5)
There are still people out there saying that eventually Tennessee will come around. Yeah, well, until they can actually stop somebody from throwing the ball all over the field, it ain’t gonna happen. Worst secondary in the NFL, maybe. This game will cause no end of gushing ESPN stories on how Tom Brady finally really looks all the way back, but of course and NFL quarterback—no, JaMarcus Russell doesn’t count as one—will look good. Pats huge.
Bills @ New Jersey Jest(-9.5)
One of the unexpected expenses of last week’s Bills-Browns game was cleaning up all the blood left in the stands as fans slit their wrists to get the game over with. Gang Green will be pissed after losing last week and will take it out on the Bills; they should have no trouble covering this.
SNF
Bears @ Atlanta(-3.5)
Great, both teams 3-1 and both 3-1 against the spread. I have no idea, so… <peeks at Al’s picks> I will go with the Bears just to riverside Al.
MNF
Broncos @ San Diego(-3)
Wow, still no respect for unbeaten Denver. Look, the Chargers cannot run the ball. And against this defense, being one-dimensional will simply not cut it. I will gladly take the points as Denver should win this straight-up, and doing that might lock up the division.