OK, so we both blew the Raiders-Chargers game. Geez, the Raiders look awful. Who could lose to them?
On with the rest of the picks…
Sunday 1:00
Jaguars @ Chicago(-7)
Jax looked unbelievably bad against the Texans—I think they’re just mailing it in at this point. Bears.
Vikings @ Detroit(+10.5)
And, speaking of mailing in the season, there’s the Lions. I don’t see why people think this is the game the Lions will finally win. Not only will they lose, they’ll lose big… again.
Texans @ Green Bay(-6)
The Texans have a little momentum now, but let’s not get carried away—this is a road game in the cold. Packers have no trouble covering this.
Bungles @ Indy(-13.5)
Man, favorite city this week. This one gives me slight pause, though, as that’s a bucket of points. But then, Cinci’s season has kind of kicked the bucket… no, no, that’s too many points, I have to take them.
Falcons @ New Orleans(-3)
Have these people seen the Saints so-called defense? Obviously the Vegas guys know something I don’t, as the wrong team is favored here. Hell yeah I’m taking these points.
Eagles @ New Jersey Giants(-7)
That was a fantastic display last week by the Iggles, but even with all the Plax nonsense, this is not the Cardinals defense and this is not in Philly. I say the Giants cover.
Browns @ Tennessee(-14)
Who, exactly, is playing QB for the Browns now? On the road? OK, so I don’t think the winner of this game is in doubt. But will they cover the gaudy number? Well, seeing as how the Browns can’t tackle worth a crap, yes, I think the Titans will cover the big number.
Sunday ~4:10
Dolphins vs. Bills @ Toronto, pick
Someone please explain to me why the Bills gave up a nice, cold-weather home game against their most hated enemy to play indoors where the cold will be nullified? This is bizarre, I’m taking Miami.
Chefs @ Denver(-9)
I have exactly no freaking idea what to do with Denver. When their offense clicks and their defense even kind of shows up—and kind of showing up is about as good as it gets for this defense—they look great. And other games they don’t even seem to want to bother. Look, I know it’s the Chiefs on the road, but that’s just too many points for me with the wildly inconsistent Broncos.
Jets @ San Francisco(+4)
I’m glad it’s a small number because the Niners have looked a lot better lately. Still, if the Jets want to prove they’re really playoff worthy, they have to win a game like this. I’ll go with Gang Green here.
Patriots @ Seattle(+6.5)
The Seabags are a train wreck this season, I’m giving the points.
Rams @ Arizona(-14)
Ahh, yes, the Cardinals back home against a horrible team. What a nice way to rebound and erase the memory of last week’s blowout, with a blowout of their own. Cards, and Haslett gets the boot at the end of the year.
Cowboys @ Pittsburgh(-3)
Warning, Will Robinson, warning! The “home team -3” spread means not even Vegas has any idea what’s going on in this intriguing game. I, however, have simple heuristic for picking Steelers games this year. When Willie Parker plays, they cover. Clayton is reporting that he’ll play in the cold and possibly light snow, which doesn’t exactly favor Dallas. I’m taking the Stillers here.
SNF
Redskins @ Baltimore(-5.5)
I think Washington is done. I was expecting this to be Ravens by three, however, so the number again gives me slight pause. No, forget it, Baltimore by six or seven here.
MNF
Tampa Bay @ Carolina(-3)
Hmm, again, Vegas has no idea, either. That’s good, because I have no clue here. I guess the matchup has to favor Carolina, as the vaunted Tampa 2 isn’t that great against the run, and the Panthers figure to run the ball like 40 times. I don’t know, I’m just making shit up here to justify picking somebody… yeah, sure, I’ll go with that. Panthers, but I really have no idea.
Sunday 1:00
Jaguars @ Chicago(-7)
The spread is large, but probably because Jacksonville has given up on the season. They just didn’t have it this year. Injuries to the o-line early and they never recovered. So I’ll give the points.
Vikings @ Detroit(+10.5)
I don’t want to give such a big number and I find it hard to believe that a team will go 0-16, but these Lions can find a way. And the Vikings have a division to win. Give the points.
Texans @ Green Bay(-6)
This is a must-win for Green Bay, but they still have no defense! The Texans will keep it close, at least. I’ll take the points.
Bungles @ Indy(-13.5)
That’s a lot of points, but the Bengals are completely done. Indy needs to be feeling it right now. They need some momentum for the playoffs. Give the big number in the dome.
Falcons @ New Orleans(-3)
I keep expecting the Falcons to falter at some point late in the season. This smells like a time for it to happen just when they need a win the most. I’ll take the Saints. Gosh, I’m such a fatalist! Go Falcons (but give the points).
Eagles @ New Jersey Giants(-7)
Great job to win last week by the Eagles, but the Giants are the class of the league. They will win easily.
Browns @ Tennessee(-14)
I think Ken Dorsey is starting for the Browns. Ew. Give the big number.
Sunday ~4:10
Dolphins vs. Bills @ Toronto, pick
Miami is doing their best to grab a playoff spot despite being not very good. Great job of coaching down there. They’ll win this game, but will lose to the Jets in the last game of the season!
Chefs @ Denver(-9)
The Broncos have already lost to the chiefs this year, but clearly Cutler has started to figure things out. He looked great against the Falcons and the Jets. I’ll give the big number.
Jets @ San Francisco(+4)
I’ve got the Jets as well. These West Coast teams suck ass.
Patriots @ Seattle(+6.5)
Again, even the AFC least has this division conquered. I’ll give the points AGAIN.
Rams @ Arizona(-14)
The Great Haslett Experiment of 2008 is almost finished. Arizona will win this one fairly easily, but I’m not happy about giving so many points. I will take the two touchdowns and cross my toes that somebody will make a play for the Rams.
Cowboys @ Pittsburgh(-3)
Looks like Barber can’t go for the Cowboys. Without anything to keep the Steelers D honest, I don’t see how the Cowboys can be as successful as they’ll need to be with the passing game. This could get ugly. They will blitz and blitz often. Steelers.
SNF
Redskins @ Baltimore(-5.5)
Baltimore is stalking the Steelers. They need this game to keep pace and with the way the Redskins have been playing, they should be able to cover this number. Flacco is the x-factor here. He’s going to have to continue limiting the mistakes as he has for most of the year.
MNF
Tampa Bay @ Carolina(-3)
This should be a fantastic game with the division lead on the line. Oh my, the Falcons really need a win! Oh yeah, back to this game. Tampa won last time at home, so the fact they are getting points makes my decision easy. I have Tampa +3, although this is anyone’s game.